"Pinkish for girls; blueish for boys"
This may be just stereotype gendered-color schemes for babies or children, but it still applies when someone thinks my father is a carpenter, I too, must become a carpenter.

Or I was born and grew up in this town. I will do the same as what others before me have done, including grow old and die in the same place.


Worst, when someone charts his path to success or destiny merely by believing what others say about him. If your boss says: "You're not good enough. You can never get a job else where. Lucky you, we still let you keep the job here!" You believe it -- even listen to it like a lullaby. And, like a puppy obeying its master, you keep doing what you're doing until one day you're about to retire, suddenly your eyes open, silently you regret it and say -- "I wish I had quit the job long ago".  Sounds like an unhappy career ending, doesn't it?

How can you fulfil your potential if you dare not to venture further, let alone disrupt your comfort zone?

"Love and do what you want" 
Lives and careers can go up and down, or around in circles like a merry-go-round, yet they deserve true discernment -- true calling. 

St. Augustine, one of the great saints from the fourth century B.C, advises: "Love and do what you want"

Never let fears hold you back. The only way to past them is to ask yourselves a question: What you love most not what you do best, for what you do best may not what you love. Never mind others saying: "You can never make it. You're not good enough; not clever enough, or not creative enough." 

One thing we shall never forget is, that the other precious gift God gives us, apart from life, is the gift of learning. Having this gift of learning, we can learn almost anything in order to develop our skills and talents needed to do what we love. 

Fixed mindset and growth mindset
DR Carol S. Dweck, a professor of psychology at Columbia University, in her book Mindset, explains that with the right mindset we can reach our goals -- both personal and professional. She discovers that there are two types of mindset -- a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

In the HBR IdeaCast interview with Harvard Business Review, DR Dweck explains: "A fixed mindset is when people believe their basic qualities, their intelligence, their talents, their abilities, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount, and that's that. But other people have a growth mindset. They believe that even basic talents and abilities can be developed over time through experience, mentorship, and so on. And these are the people who go for it. They're not always worried about how smart they are, how they'll look, what a mistake will mean. They challenge themselves and grow."

If DR Dweck motivates through her discovery of growth mindset, St. Augustine challenges through his  message -- "love and do what you want", in other words he encourages us to follow our heart; to embrace our passions. 

From law school to shoes design. And, a chemist to a pope. 
Manolo Blahnik, one of the world's most successful shoe designers, was raised in a banana plantation in the Canary Islands. His father wanted him to be an international lawyer; he studied law and languages in Geneva. But he knew becoming an international lawyer wasn't his true vocation. His passions were doing something creative with his hands, so he went to art school. Why shoes? In an interview with Harvard Business Review (December 2010), he commented: "Because they have a life for themselves ... I also love the way you see people walking in shoes, how they decorate feet. They bring refreshment to people's lives." He opened his first London boutique in 1973. It took him 10 years to learn the craft. Now, his shoes are available in 20 countries, decorate the feet of many incredible women: princesses, actresses, ladies everywhere. 

Another vivid example is an Argentinian man by the name of Jorge Mario Bergoglio. He let go of his career as a chemist to become a priest -- a real major disruption; he was then ordained on 13 December 1969. What becomes of him now? Effective 13 March 2013, he is Pope Francis!

So, find what you love. Pursue it. Let go of your fears. Never mind stepping back -- if you have to; never mind disruption -- whether minor or major, they are better than silent regret later. Doing what you love is very meaningful -- not only for yourself but also for people around you, and furthermore its rewarding joy is beyond bound!



Note: Image is contributed by Melissa Mu Photography of Sydney.

Ask every sales professional, whatever his/her title is -- sales manager, account executive, sales executive, sales director, account director, etc -- if he/she knows who his/her customer is.

"Of course, I know!", I bet everyone will say that. 

Really? 

Supposedly, your customer is "Onion, Inc". 

A simple question, if I may ask: How do you spell your customer names? "Easy", you said, "O-N-I-O-N". 

Are you sure? The question is -- how do you spell your customer "names"? It is not just one name, not a company's name that you have spelled correctly. 

Recently, I was offered a short-term contract role by a company I used to work for for many years. I was thrilled. But the whole process to bringing me back on board was absolutely complicated; even though the need of my skills and services were very obvious and critical. It was the process and "bureaucracy" that made it complex for such a simple request. There were a number of people, from different functions and even companies,  involved before I finally received the "go" ahead.

First, the engagement manager (called him Bill) who highlighted the need of my expertise urgently; apparently, he was supported 100% by people around him -- the main stakeholders -- who recognised my expertise and the need of it. 

Second, Bill's direct manager (called him Matt). After some serious and persuasive talks, Matt, a reluctant manager who acted as a "goal keeper" of the team, finally agreed to bring the matter up to the decision maker, his boss -- the vice president of the business unit. 

Third, this vice president -- the decision maker, called him Tim, like Matt, was only convinced after hearing the loud cry that was supported by his direct report, Matt, and the main stakeholders around Bill.

Fourth, the purchasing manager (Tom), who authorised suppliers as well as contractors (including consultants), mandated that an agent to be assigned as a mediator between an individual contractor (me) and the Company. 

Fifth, a potential agent (represented by Jim). It was brought in (by me) as part of the condition of my engagement. Upon rigorous reviews and after I have stated a strong and rational reason why I have to use this agent (instead of Tom's suggested agent) to represent me for administrative and payroll purposes, finally the use of my nominated agent was approved.

Was it all? No. 

Connect the whole players
Now that all the players were identified, the whole process must be completed. I had to connect each player according to the process. Behind the scene, I must keep track the progress to ensure all moved to the direction that took me to the Company.

If you were the sales person offering professional services under the above scenario, could you tell  "who was your customer?" or "who were your customers?": No doubt, now you would mention Bill, Matt, Tim, Tom, and Jim. 

And not to forget behind them there were still more names that influenced and impacted the final decision indirectly. They too were your customers!

In this real example, one important step had been skipped: The evaluation of my capability to provide the services -- my capability had been well known and proven. In many other business situations, the  products and services offered might have not been known, let alone proven. In this case, first things first is to find the "Bill" of the company -- sometimes we refer "Bill" as the user, and find out whoever behind him and what they need.

Although sometimes a sales person feels sure of winning the deal because his/her main contact is "Tim" the decision maker. Right? 

Not true! This was not the case. Even Tim must listen to the rest of the players: Bill --the user, who was supported by Matt and influenced and urged by others (the main stakeholders); Tom -- the purchasing manager; and perhaps  Jim -- the third parties. If any of these parties was ignored there would be no guarantee of winning the deal. 

An entire team behind every customer
Dr. E.H. Edhersheim, in her book titled The Definitive Drucker, says: "In this interconnected environment, there's an entire team behind every customer. The user, the buyer, and the influencer are linked together as never before. We need to do more than understand them; we need to engage with them, alone and in groups, and understand how they want to be engaged. This is a whole new type of relationship, with the customer influencing other customers."

It is, indeed, an interconnected environment.  A whole new type of relationship -- between seller and buyer. Selling is no longer straight forward, worst, it becomes so complicated these days. The key is to be persistent in uncovering the whole players. Know them by their first names, establish relationship and connection with each one of them to know what they really, really, really needs. And spell them out in your selling strategy. 

So, next time someone asked: "Who is your customer?" You may rephrase the question: "Who is the people behind my customer, you mean?" That's more like it. 

A customer can never be a company. It is people: an entire team. Know them well: who they are; what they want, spell them out then sell.

Not easy. But isn't it only through difficulties that our knowledge grows? 

In 2006, a Jesuit parish in North Sydney received a financial legacy of $6 million from a very generous gentleman -- a faithful parishioner who died in the same year. The legacy enabled the parish to build a beautiful community centre and the Parish office. 

Sadly, many people in the community did not have the pleasure of knowing this generous gentleman. They wished they could have known him earlier to ever thank him in person.

Legacy.  Do we have to leave a legacy only after we've gone? Can we not leave a legacy while we are still alive, so that we can see the fruit of our legacy?

Or does a legacy have to be something big and spectacular, like this $6 million? Or as simple as beautiful smile that brighten someone's day. 

And for business professionals, what about leaving a legacy in the work place? 

Nowadays, many professionals change job and/or company, at least, every two-year. How about leaving well done achievements and great team-work memory as a legacy before moving on? 

In January 2012, in the midst of my career break, I was appointed unexpectedly as Executive Officer of a fundraising office (Appeal Office) in the same parish: a Jesuit parish with a large community that consists of three Catholic churches in the North Sydney area. My main task was to raise $2.5 million! The funds were to be used to restore a heritage-listed big building (the size of ten bedsitters): a house for the priests of the Parish and a Jesuit community. 

Raising funds, how? I've never been a fundraiser before, hence never raised funds.

When I thanked the chairman of the fundraising committee, whom I knew just for a short while, for giving me the opportunity to lead the Appeal Office despite the lack of experience I had, he replied: "I live long enough. I know who can do the job and who can't". 

Of course, he told me the truth -- in January 2012, he was 79-year old! He used to be a CEO of his own company. His intuition about people -- who can do and who can't do the job -- has been sharpened over the years. I was privileged to be chosen to lead the project. But ... how can I do the job? Where do I start raising $2.5 million funds in a year? 

Strangely, though, after I came on board officially, I didn't remember if I was thinking too much about my lack of experience and the end result -- raising $2.5 million. All I did was -- seizing my working hours with diligent and listening to my inner voice: "This is a work of heart. The key to its success is in how to touch people's hearts. Connect with them through their emotions. Treat them with respect and dignity, invite them to be part of the project and (I believe) they will contribute"

I was suggested to meet at least a dozen of people: leaders and key members of the community. "Start from them" said the then Parish Priest. 

Well, I did. I approached them with a heartfelt purpose. It worked! Fundraising is, as the then Parish Priest always reminded me, a "friend raising". 

I made lots of friends since. Beginning from befriending this suggested dozen, within weeks my knowledge and experience about the people in our community widened beyond "strictly business" only (unlike in the corporate world). These people gave me ideas and also more names to be contacted or met. Their friendship and stories became my inspiration.

Apart from solid business strategy and communication skills that I brought with me, inspiration was, indeed, my powerful tool. I communicated this inspiration back to the community through an article I wrote weekly in our church bulletin: This was my only way of knocking the door of their hearts. 

In addition, I took every opportunity to meet other people in our churches at almost every weekend after Mass. I personalised every greeting; thank-you phone calls, letters, cards, and emails. 
When only one chance to make a speech was given, I spoke from the heart. When I ran out of words, I brought music: I produced a classical music concert series (first time in my life producing anything like this) -- bringing back the music experience in the community (not since the 1940's).

The fundraising was launched in end of April 2012. Within four months, in August, we raised nearly $500,000! 

Apparently, that was enough by September 2012. There was a sudden change in the Parish's agenda: priorities were re-arranged and the fundraising was subject to be continued perhaps sometime in 2013. Alternatively, the Parish will make do with whatever we've got.

Was it a work of magic? No. It wasn't. It was the power of inspiration that moved people's hearts in the community to work together with respect. 

Had I been worried too much about my lack of experience and afraid of not being able to raise $2.5 million, I would not have the confidence as I had -- as I made the best of my time and worked with all my heart. That was all I did: Worked with all my heart, bit by bit, focussing only on what my hands needed to do -- did the right things and did them right.

And that by itself became my legacy. Now that I have left the Office, I can ponder -- what I wanted to be remembered as: Someone who was not afraid of the "unknown" hard work -- dared to embrace every difficulty and uncertainty with patience and peace; knowing that sincerity, integrity, and honesty alone will guide the way to success. 

Am I dead yet? No. Not yet. 

But I move on with ever growing confidence that I have the gift of learning (as I've learned about fundraising). And it is very powerful when I always strive to use it with humility. With humility always comes sincerity, integrity and honesty. With these I will mark my next legacy in other work place(s). Not easy, though. But, I will carry on.  

Peter Drucker, once told a story, when he was thirteen, he had an inspiring religion teacher who one day asked the class, "What do you want to be remembered for?" And if someone can't answer the question by the time when he is fifty, that person will have wasted his life. (Thank God when I read this I wasn't fifty yet. Since then on I have always been inspired by this question.)

Now, I urge you, leave a legacy then whatever life's calling you to do:  "What do you want to be remembered for?" 

Does it have to be big and spectacular? I don't think so! It can be as simple as leaving a task and job well done at all times. Start today for tomorrow's legacy. And life will be meaningful and never wasted!

God bless!